"I Use You To Change People"

In the midst of the funk I was in last week, I was sitting in my house one night watching TV, totally veg-ing out when randomly I heard the words, "I use you to change people" run through my head.

What?

And I heard it again. "I use you to change people."

Immediately I knew it was God and I knew that He was speaking to me. Proclaiming the validity of my life and my role. Proving that I've been called by Him and have worth/purpose.

And, though I was in that funk, I was still able to actually embrace what He was trying to get across to me.

Nearly the next second after I heard those words, God brought two specific people to my mind. They're two people with whom I have less-than regular interactions with now, though neither is completely out of my life. And, I thought about who they are now as people as opposed to who they were when we were more a part of each other's lives.

Each of them is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT person than he/she was then. Completely different. They each used to be so broken, confused, wounded, faithless, hopeless and uncertain about themselves and about God.

And, I remember conversations we'd have, long into the night, sometimes with tears or high emotion. I remember seeing so much more for both of them than they were currently experiencing. I remember believing and praying for so much more for them than they were currently experiencing. I remember hoping, agonizing and begging God to bring freedom to both of them, to prove to them His unfailing and completing love for them.

And, now, though I'm no longer a regular part of either's life, I'm still close enough to get random glimpses and realize that if we were to be a regular part of each other's lives again, I'd have to get re-aquainted with both of them. Neither one is the same person any longer. They're not perfect and their lives aren't perfect...but they're so much closer to Jesus, they've experienced His love, interaction and healing in their lives and they're free of so much of the crap that weighed them down before. I'm seeing my prayers, tears and hopes for both of them coming to pass right in front of me and it's amazing.

As all these things were going through my head far more quickly than the 10 minutes it just took me to type this, the Lord was good enough to lift my mind from my sorrow and funk to remind me again how He sees me, knows me and cares for me. He validated my very existance as well as a period in my life that I've recently been looking back at wondering if any of it made a difference at all.

It's humbling to realize that He actually used me to help bring both of them freedom and bring them closer to Him. It's humbling that He cares enough to include me in His plan. And, it's overwhelmingly and astoundingly comforting to know that He cares for me enough to show me and remind me of these things.

I wonder who else's lives I'll get to play a part like that in....